Do you have the Second Baby Syndrome?

Photo by Travis Grossen on Unsplash

So you’ve become parents for the second time. Congratulations! Now surely you want to check if you have the Second Baby Syndrome (SBS). Below you’ll find a list of symptoms typical for parents — especially moms — who have the syndrome.

1. You’ve forgotten to tell that your new baby was born to (delete — or not — as appropriate): one of your best friends, a family member, your manager.
2. You don’t schedule visits for the first two weeks after your new baby was born. After this period, when you receive guests, you don’t get to the hassle of serving them cake and coffee. Or even water. You show them where the tap is.
3. You don’t keep track of every feeding, poop or bath anymore. You used to use baby manager apps with Baby #1 but now you uninstalled them because the notification “You haven’t fed your baby in 2 weeks, 4 days and 23 hours” became quite irritating.
4. You don’t stress out if your new baby hasn’t pooped for 3 days or has been sleeping for 12 hours without feeding. Actually, you’re happy about it.
5. You finish your shower, even if the new baby starts crying.
6. You used to have a thermometer in the bathtub to make sure Baby #1 was washed in perfect water temperature. With Baby #2 you just check the water with your finger to ensure he won’t burn or turn into an ice cube.
7. Your new baby doesn’t spend 99% of the time in your arms. Even though it’s tempting because she’s so cute, you have other stuff to do. Such as: hugging your older kid who’s jealous, piggybacking him (because who wants to drive two strollers…), or just letting you back get fully deserved rest.
8. You don’t take a gazillion of photos of the new baby every day. But that’s not a problem, selecting photos for the Baby Photobook #2 won’t take you 3 months like with the Photobook #1. I mean, if you’ll do it at all. (You should, otherwise, Baby #2 will never forget you this unfairness). Sometimes you even forget to take any photos all day long. Well, unless the older kid does something cool. Because when he does it, it’s for the first time.
9. You don’t compare Baby #2 with babies of your friends and family but with your Baby #1. Having a gazillion of photos of Baby #1 helps a lot here.
10. For people who keep a journal: you don’t note down every smile, development milestone, or sleep regression. Actually, you stop having time to keep a journal.
11. After Baby #1 was born you read all the La Leche League manuals, sleeping survival guides and “Baby genius — how to boost your baby development from the day they are born”. So now you read books for pleasure.
12. You start to think that (cross out as appropriate): pacifier opponents, attachment parenting, reusable nappies, and using slings instead of the stroller are perhaps unnecessarily fundamental. Because you’re not ambitious anymore and everything that makes your life easier — without causing permanent damage to your kids — is a blessing you now gladly accept!
13. Many things that were a challenge with Baby #1 are a no-brainer with Baby #2. You’re not sure if this is because you’ve become a perfect parent or if you’re still lousy but now you have a rare example of a perfect child.

If you find yourself having 3 or more of these symptoms— rest assured, you’ve got Second Baby Syndrome! But don’t fret! SBS is totally normal! Actually, if you don’t have it, you may need to go to a psychiatrist… or at least a good massagist!

Having kids changes you. Having the first one helps you get a healthy perspective on your hitherto life problems. And having the second one helps you get a healthy perspective on having kids.

Thanks to my friends for sharing their experiences and this way contributing to the list of symptoms. Can YOU think of more symptoms? Share them in the comments!

You may also like my article about 15 surprising things about parenting in Portugal.